A few weeks ago I landed in the hospital for a day with influenza, excruciating lower abdominal pain and contractions so close together I became concerned for the health of our unborn child who was just shy of the gestational age of 25 weeks. While I was there being pumped full of meds and willing my heart to trust in God's plan for us, a conversation with a nurse begged the question in my mind: will I praise Him and rest in Him--Sovereign Creator and Master Planner of my life--no matter what?
The obvious goal was to stop contractions. If they were not able to do so, then we would need to head to Omaha for a potential delivery of a 1.5 pound premature infant, that could survive, yes, but with a long road of possible complications to overcome.
Our pastor, elder and their wives all visited me that day to speak truth to me, encourage me, and pray over me. My pastor said something to me then that I took in like a sucker punch: "Everything God ordains is good." Wow. If I had to deliver a preemie that day would I believe that? I honestly hope that I would have. I asked Pastor to clarify his statement which really helped my heart:
"What God ordains is good in its ultimate sense, bringing God glory and working for our good as well. (Romans 8:28) Psalm 84:11, 'No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.' He does not withhold children, family, comfort, money, health, etc. if it is ultimately for our good. In the mystery of God's providence, there are times when those things are not for our good, God wants something better for us, such as conformity to Jesus and trusting in Him above our circumstances which He often teaches us through those difficult times."
The truth of the goodness of God does not depend on my circumstances, my emotions, or on my limited definition of "good". He is good because He is good. Did I experience the goodness of God that day? Most certainly. He answered our prayers and brought health to me and kept this little one safely within me! The overwhelming sense of gratefulness and worship I had on our way home was rooted in a faith that my God is my provider and giver of every good thing. I pray that I would have believed that same truth with all my being had the day ended differently. My husband kept reminding me that we would be thankful for any outcome because we knew that God had this one in His hands.
The song that ran in my mind that entire day was this beautiful classic by Twila Paris. It reminds me of Psalm 34:1 "I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth."
My lips will praise You
For You are holy
My voice will ever rise
Before Your throne
My heart will love You
For You are lovely
And You have called me
To become Your own
I am Your own
And I will worship You alone
I am Your own
I am Your child
I am Your own
And I will worship at Your throne
I am Your own
And I will love You
For a worshipful moment in your day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CucvX8-kn1E
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| My family: the goodness of God displayed to me daily |
A link to another great post about the goodness of God:
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-goodness-of-god-and-the-fear-of-god
